


Count to five

by Useless_Lesbian_1969



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Drinking, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e09 The Trap, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:34:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25147048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Useless_Lesbian_1969/pseuds/Useless_Lesbian_1969
Summary: Back from Purgatory, Dean and Castiel's bond hasn't completely been fixed. Dean is a disaster who doesn't know how to talk about his feelings, and Cas is still kind of pissed, rightfully so. (Castiel is a BAMF and if you don't like him what are you doing here). This fic is literally just Dean drinking and sitting in regret (hey that sound pretty canon compliant to me), Dean, get therapy.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Count to five

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, so this is literally my first ever fic! Yaaayyy. I've been in this fandom a super long time and felt like it was kind of overdue you know? Anyways, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated, so if you enjoy this literal dumpster fire let me know. I apologize in advance.

One fight was all it took for the best thing in his life to walk out of it. Cas was gone, and Dean couldn’t fix it. He thought through every scenario in his head, anything that could make things the way they used to be, but he knew things would never be the same. “It’s such a goddamn cliche” he thought every night when he couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t sleep because Cas, his Cas was out there alone and he was worried. Worried that he’d get a call one day and the part of him that left him in the Bunker would never come back. And then when it finally did, when Cas walked through those doors, it felt like home. But of course, nothing is ever simple with the Winchesters. Twice they’d been to Purgatory, and both times Dean felt more alive than he ever did on Earth; that is until Cas went away. Again. And all of a sudden, Dean couldn’t breathe. So he prayed. And he begged. And he cried. And he accepted. He accepted the fact that whatever he felt for Cas, friendship, love, he couldn’t live without it. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t truly live without Cas by his side. So this thing that he had been keeping buried for eight goddamn years couldn’t stay buried. Three drinks is what it takes for Dean to even think about his relationship with the angel. To think about his stupid blue eyes and the dumb trench coat he never takes off. Three drinks and Dean can’t stop obsessing over the way Cas looked at him in purgatory, like he knew what Dean wanted to say. What he needed to say. He shakes the thought with another drink, and that makes it four. Four drinks, four days. It had been four days since he saw Cas and Dean was losing his mind. So when the man of the hour slammed the door of the Bunker while covered in siren remains and stormed off to his room without even acknowledging Dean, he knew that sitting around and wallowing in self-pity wouldn’t change the situation. So Dean drank, and he thought. He thought of what could happen if he would just man up and tell the damn angel what was on his mind. He decided, five minutes, that’s all it would take. Five minutes for him to lose his one true friend, or five minutes to make him the happiest he’s ever been. It takes him thirty seconds to make the decision.

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said, literal dumpster fire. Have a good day I guess? I don't know how this works


End file.
